CK001
Originally uploaded by Ichor.
Discipline.
Discipline is a constant commitment.
Discipline.
There are lots of different reasons why I went through the whole surgical process to make myself taller. I think I had the right reasons... It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to have that - if I didn't, I might've lived a life of regret and wonder of what would've happened otherwise. I did it to learn sacrifice and, ultimately, some discipline.
It was easy, at first, to be committed to the process. At times when my mother and my doctor were ready to give up, I was still committed. Well... sortof. (Maybe they would've been if I wasn't screaming so much in pain. I know, in some deep part of me that doesn't really want to admit it, that I overreacted most of the time when I was in pain... but that's a different story, I think.) I would just tell myself that that was what I wanted and that I was bringing myself to a life that I wanted. I even remember feeling very proud.
But now, somehow, everything just went away. Maybe it's because the process took longer than I expected. (I'm still going through the end of the process. I should be walking by now) I still dream about the life I want but where's the commitment now? There's still lot's to do. Have I lost faith in the process or am I just really really lazy?
Is it really just that simple? Just tough it out and get with the goddamn program? I don't think so. I mean, where's the passion? Where's the motivation? (I hope this is just not some excuse that I'm using to stop me from actually working.) Isn't there a fine line between discipline and punishment?
i-li-za-rov (i lē zä ruv) n.
>> The surgery that Vincent undergoes to increase his height in the movie Gattaca. It's named after the Russian doctor who invented it 40 years ago to treat dwarfism. This painful operation adds length by allowing new bone to grow in the gap left by gradually seperating ends of the broken bone. The patient's shinbones are cut in two, a brace is applied and metal pins would pull apart the bones a millimetre each day. Risks include feet permanently turned at odd angles, twisted legs, and weakened bones that break again and again.
>> What I did in June of 2005. I tell people it's either a rock climbing and/or car accident.
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